Madness and Peach trees

I know I haven't been blogging and it makes me so sad! I am going to update you on my life and talk about some stuff and I am going to do this all in 30 minutes because SNL is soon and I have priories.

Oliver. Holy mother of God I am in a musical. I sing and dance and act like nobody's business. Our first show is on Wednesday and it's all been so crazy. We have been so busy. Everyday just practicing and practicing! I am falling behind in school and I am so tried but I honestly don't care. This is the kind of stuff you remember about high school.

I have been so busy and I don't know how I feel about it. When I'm at Oliver, it seems like time flies by. It's fun and the people rock and our show is amazing, but when I get home everything comes crashing down. Life does not stop just because you're in a musical.

But then I think, who cares? Why do I try so hard in school? Is it for me, or is it for other people? I don't need to have a 80%+ in stupid biology. Fuck, I don't even need to be taking biology. I get so mad at myself sometimes. Screw everyone else. Think of just your future.

I am not going to get into future plans because I have none. I have few. I have a shit ton that I have been changing weekly. Just look back at previous blog posts about my life. I should make a Stephanie Timeline that brings me through my journey into failure. "Oh, Stephanie, you're not a failure!" says everyone into their computer. And I thank you, but turn you away.

Part of me wants things to get back to normal, but the other part of me knows that there will never be a normal again. There is too much change going on around me while I'm stuck in the middle, and for once I am happy. I am glad because I need change for myself not to be influence by others.

Also, I really fucking hate when people don't text me back. I really fucking hate it.

My old lady makeup for Oliver