New, but still the same

I've been busy lately. Between school, extra curricular activities, and TV, I haven't had much time to go back into my old ways. I feel a change in myself that's weird, but good.

I've been going to bed at a decent hour and actually falling asleep within the hour. I've been getting up earlier then I need to and just relaxing a little before school. There is no rush.

I'm still the lovable introvert, but I'm trying to break from that. I've joined the play thing at my school. We do a lot of improv and we get to write the play. One step closer to Tina Fey. I've also been participating in school like nobody's business. I think it's scaring my teachers. 

This may not be a big deal, but today I held open the door when there was a fire drill. One teacher was holding open one side, but the other side was just kind of a nuisance, so I stood there and held it open for everyone. Every teacher said thank you, even some students. It was weird. But I took that slight initiative. 

I guess what I'm getting at is that I like having the routine. I like being busy. I still may not love school, but I am glad it's there. It takes my mind off of all my problems and just puts me in the moment somewhere between stress and frustration. 

Stephanie: Awkward, Introvert, Insomniac. But maybe a little bit less of each.

What would you do?

What would you do if you opened your bedroom door and your bedroom was not inside? Your bed was gone. Your clothes gone. Your beloved fish just gone. You're not even looking at the inside of a house. There is a grassy hill in the distance that you barely even notice because about one hundred meters away you see a house. Maybe you wouldn't call it a house, it's more of a cottage. I quaint little stone cottage. You think they are stones anyways, each one set in the wall is such a bright, unnatural colour. You've been staring at this foreign country side for hardly a minute when it hits you. This isn't your bedroom.

Do you run?

Do you close the door and walk away?

Do you call for help?

Do you think you've gone insane?

Do you walk up to the house?

Do you see what's beyond the hill?

Do you continue to stare unblinkingly into your bedroom hoping it will disappear?

What if you do close the door. What if closing the door makes this strange world move on into the next non-expecting persons bedroom? Would you risk it? If you close that door and what you just saw is gone, you will think you're crazy for the rest of your life. You can't prove it was ever there. You can't tell anyone about it because no one will ever believe you.

So you slowly walk in. The ground definitely feels like grass. There is a slight breeze and the air smells like cinnamon. It's coming from the house. That's a friendly smell, right? You decided to release the doorknob and step further into the strange surroundings. Bad idea. The door slams shut. Panic washes over you. What if your house isn't on the other side?

What's done is done. If your house is on the other side, great, If not, well, you're stuck here. Before you test your fate you decide to check out this world anyways. As you make your way closer to the house, the smell becomes stronger. You tentatively knock on the door. There is no answer and the door is ajar. You make yourself known but there is no answer back. You step into the house. It's beautiful. It is just so you. All of your favourite things are already there. There are fresh cinnamon buns on the counter waiting.

You spot an envelope with your name on it. Confused, you open it. It reads:

I'm glad you made it. We are very happy to have you here. Please do not be alarmed. You were chosen among many. You have unique qualities that can benefit everyone greatly. Of course, we will make you feel very welcome. I am getting ahead of myself. You have a choice. If you go back now, your house and your old life will be waiting on the other side of the door. If you stay, your life will be fulfilled. Everything you've ever wanted. Everything you ever need. Relationships. Companionship. We have endless possibilities to make your life the best it will ever be. This is a big choice. Choose wisely. At 12am your door will disappear forever. Hopeful to meet you soon. 
P.S. Whether you decide to stay or not, help yourself to a bun. They are delicious.


You look around and easily spot the clock. It is 5:34pm. Time is ticking away.

What will you do?

Magic Tree

I found this beauty at the dollar store. I thought I would make a little stop motion video of the thing growing. Or whatever it is doing. Chemicals ftw.

I have to remember to take the face tracking thing off when I do stop motion. It is decent though, at least I didn't move the camera too much.

It actually looks pretty gross. Like some sort of mold growing or other type of hazardous bacteria. So worth $1.25 though.

And of course that it my ukulele playing in the background. I hope you can jam out to that.

Good bye.

Jar of Hearts

Here is my cover. You're welcome Nathan.

Jar of Hearts - Christina Perri:

I did two and I liked the second one better, but for some reason my camera killed it, and when it uploaded it didn't have any sound.So you're stuck with the moderately worse one. Whateves.You can hear some sickness in my voice, but I don't even care.

I also came home today and Photoshopped my heart out! I hope you like the new background. I like it a lot better then the last one.

And final note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY POEHLER! As you guys know, I am a huge fan. Parks and Recreation is starting up next Thursday and I am beyond excited. I missed TV so much, even though it never really left.

Picture theory

This may get complicated because of my poor way at explanations. Try to stick with me.

I was born in 1994. At this time, picture technology was fairly advanced. Sure, they have come a long way as of today, but the pictures looked good. If you took a picture of a tree in the sunlight, the picture would turn out as a picture of a tree in the sunlight.

Now, let's step back in time. Pictures started black and white. If you look at a legit black and white photo from decades ago you think, wow, this is so old. Moving into the first coloured pictures, they still didn't look like they did today. They were yellowish and spotty. Looking at these pictures you think, woah, this is so long ago.

No, onto my theory. Looking at pictures of your parents when they were younger, you always make fun of their hairstyles and clothing. Now, try and picture them just in an everyday situation. I don't know about you, but for me it's hard because I want to picture them how they look in their pictures. Black and white or yellowish. Obviously life in their time looked the same as our time, but they didn't have the technology to capture it like we capture our life.

Now let's think to the future. When our kids look at our pictures will they think it's that much of a change because our picture quality will be the same? Assuming that pictures don't change, I don't see how they can because what we capture digitally is crystal clear, exactly how we are seeing it. When they look through our yearbooks are they really going to think that our hairstyles were really odd because they are going to look real?

To break it down, my theory is that we judge the past based on what we see in pictures, and how we see the pictures. Maybe I'm making no sense. Think about it though, I think I make sense anyways.

Bearded Knowledge

A short by Stephanie Doughty

One day as I was walking home, minding my own business, this man stops in front of me. He harshly says, "Kid, you're not going anywhere."

I guess you could say I was taken aback, but, in truth, I knew it all along. My life has been one stationary movement. Ever since I could walk, I was happier standing still. My grades are average. My family is average. There is literally nothing special about me. I am not going to do anything spectacular like fly a spaceship or go fishing for the Loch Ness Monster. So what am I doing? Dreaming? There is no point.

Of course this man could have said this because he was about to mug me. I look into his rugged, bearded face and look beyond the dirt and grime to see what other secrets of life he holds. As he rough handles me for my cash, I don't struggle, I just think. This man is so smart, I wonder how he ended up on the streets.

I watch him as he runs off with my life savings of thirty-five thousand dollars and have a urge to run after him. Not to try and get my money back, but to thank him. To thank him for his words of truth. For his knowledge.

I now know that there is no point of trying. I'm not going anywhere.

End scene.

Quick writes

My sociology teacher does this thing where she puts a question up on the board and we answer it. We do about 4 each week and she collects them every 2 weeks. The questions range from personal to about sociology.

One of my greatest strengths is expressing myself through writing, so I quite enjoy these. It lets my teacher get to know me without actually having to talk. When I'm writing, I don't care what I say. I have no limits when I answer these questions, which I guess is kind of weird.

We did our first quick writes of this semester today. The question was something like: If you were my age (she's 34), where would you be living? Where would you be working? What would you do in your spare time?

I found this the perfect opportunity to show a completely different side of myself.

This is my answer: I am living in New York City. I live in a cozy apartment with my mentally unstable roommate named Kat. I am a writer for a new television show. I spend my free time hanging out with my best friend, and mentor, Tina Fey. Everything is wonderful.

In grade 9 French we had to do this presentation about our role models. I talked about Tina Fey. It's the same teacher. I don't know if she will remember, but I think it's pretty funny.

On the first day of class we went around the room finding people that matched these different things, like, I play an instrument, or I've met a famous person. When we were finished we talked about each thing and put up our hands if we do that or have done it.

It felt weird telling the class that I play guitar and ukulele (the teacher was surprised), and telling them I met Doris Roberts and having to explain who she is and where I met her. I can't remember how many I shared, and each time I put my hand up, how surprised the teacher was. It felt good.

Sociology is definitely my favourite class.

Forever sadface

How the fuck do people do this? How do they decide what to do with the rest of their lives? How do they make it through high school?

School today was horrible.

Every class was blah this about university, and blah that about grades and scholarships.

I don't want to do this. I don't know if I can handle university.

This is only the first day back and I already want to give up and continue my hermit lifestyle.

I really hope this gets better before it gets worse.

Inevitable

Here I am sitting my my room and becoming really sad because school starts up tomorrow.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....OOOOOOOOO....ooo...o.

I am starting twelfth grade, and can I just say, high school is an awful place filled with awful people. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I had friends, but at school I would be lucky if I could name five people that I would voluntarily spend time with. Did you know that I can't make friends? Was it that obvious? Oh...

The first week of school is the worst. New people, old people, introductions. Seating. Having no friends means that it's always a struggle picking a seat. That's what I worry about the most. Of course it is never that big of a deal, but it just freaks me out.

I am also going to have to get dressed like everyday. How horrible?

I guess it will be kind of nice to get back into a structured day. Summer for me means doing nothing. Nothing includes TV, a shit ton of TV.

Stephanie, what did you do this summer?
Well teacher, I watched a lot of TV on the internet. It made me smarter though, I swear.

Today I thought I would end the summer well. I watched SNL, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon with Tina Fey, I am going to be watching a lot of TV, eating a lot of crap, and just enjoy the few hours I have left.

I hope this year is simply manageable. I don't go in with a lot of expectations.

The day is young, time for more TV!