The future is bright, and by all means beautiful

The big future post. Here it is. Of course nothing is certain. I could change my mind tomorrow, but this is the first time I'm excited. I'm excited and I'm not scared and worried. I probably should be, but I need to just keep thinking that you need to risk it all to get it all. If I don't, then what? I'll be forever wishing I did and we can't have that.

So, the first part of the plan involves me not going to university. Yes, we are starting out bold.

The second part is coming back to high school, part-time, for another year. I need this. Who the hell am I kidding? I am in no way ready to move away. I need to face reality.

The third part is to focus on my for the year. Not what he's doing with his life, or how successful she is, just me. I do that too much. It kills me when I don't stand level with other people, so I shut down. I need to just do me. But not in a sexual manor. Well, maybe... I'm going to stop now.

The fourth part is going to college. The big C. I would be going to college for writing. Writing in television. Also, there is another program for writing in comedy, as well as performing like improv and sketch comedy and such. This is exactly what I want. It's so perfect it hurts.

The fifth part is moving. The college I would need to go to is around an hour and a half away, so it's not too far, but I would want to live there.

This is the plan I formed on my own. I don't know what the sixth part is. I know what I want it to be, but I don't know what it will bring. I haven't even talked to my guidance counselor yet. This is all me, and I don't know how it is going to work out.

It's funny how much my life has changed in the last year. I never thought of even considering this route, but it feels right somehow.

Free Falling

But not John Mayer's version, because that's gross.

Things are looking up. My new semester is nice. I have time during the day to be productive at school. I think I know what I want to do with myself. I am not sleeping, but who needs sleep when you have to wake up even earlier than before? (Cry, cry.)

I volunteered at a church event (I don't know if it's an event, but whatever) to have a hot meal for homeless people. All in a days work. Just helping out with the homeless and whatnot. I knew my hometown has a big homeless issue, but you really don't take that much notice until it is right in front of you. The room was quickly filled with the elderly, the mentally ill, and the addicted. I'm sure there are a lot more classifications, but these are the ones that I remember. It was a totally new experience.

I bought a fancy journal for my writers craft course today. (From the poor, to new things. That's how I do it here.) I am excited to start! I am going to do that after I finish with this. Maybe I will type out each entry after so you can read my beauty! Or maybe not, I'm not sure. It's a really informal thing, which I also enjoy.

For our big, end of the year, project we have to produce any kind of writing that is minimum of 10 pages. I was thinking of maybe finishing my screenplay and handing that in. Maybe a little drastic, but she said some people hand in 100 pages. I would love to do it, and since I have a spare during the day, I plan to be working on it anyways.

I have set a lot of personal goals for myself recently. They are crazy and big and will take time, but I think they are manageable. I am glad I am doing it. I am glad I am doing something.

I am also watching a lot of television still. I regret nothing. Television is my life. I don't think that will ever change.