Real life conversations 4

This was a while ago, bu my mom and I were reminiscing about it today and it's still just as funny.

My mom fell asleep on the couch, and it was getting late so I decided to go turn the TV down. (This happens almost every night and it is beyond annoying.) So I walk into the living room and a funny commercial is on. My mother kind of wakes up my by quiet laughter.

Me: Do you know who is in this commercial?

Mom: What? No.

Me: It's Will Arnett!

Mom: ....I thought he was black.

Me: What? Who?

Mom: Will.i.am.

Me: (Lots of laughter) No mother, Will Arnett. The actor married to Amy Poehler.

Mom: What time is it?

Barely awake mother is always hilarious. I really wish she would have said: Wil.iam from Fergie! Oh movie references.

Real life conversations 3

My mom and I are about to go out so she can purchase this picture. She is in the bathroom putting on make-up. I come out of my room and was going to use the bathroom.

Mom: Are we going?

Me: Yeah, I was going to use the bathroom.

Mom: Why don't you get dressed first?

Me: I was going to use the bathroom before I get married.

Mom: (Confused look)

Me: Did I just say married? (Laughing)

Mom: (Laughing) Do you have something to tell me? (Laughing some more)


Why I blurted out married instead of dressed, I will never know. That was really messed up, but hilarious.

Real life conversations 2

My mother and I were in Shoppers Drug Mart today doing some casual shopping.

A wild stand of Playboy Body Mist appears..

Mom: (Jokingly) Do you want some of this?
Me: Yes I do!

So I pick the sample one up to jokingly take. We are all about jokes. The lid was faulty and a significant amount spilled on my hand.

Me: Oh no! Now I smell like a whore!
Mom: What!? (Laughing sounds) What do you smell like?
Me: A whore.

Then we laughed the night away, even though it was only 4pm.

Blame the cucmbers

When something goes wrong in my house, whether it is a computer not working, or the satellite, or any type of electronic, my mother won't be far away to make up some crazy story. She knows absolutely nothing about computers or electronics, so she makes up some kind of explanation that only makes sense to her. 

Yesterday my dad changed the theme packages on our TV so we would get a better variety of channels. It worked fine with our receiver in the living room, but today I noticed that my receiver did not change. My receiver is old and it never works out. So, we call Bell and get this nice little Asian woman named Blanch. Yes, Blanch, I don't know either...

After trying multiple things, it still didn't work. And there's my mother, "I bet it's the cucumber plants outside blocking the signal." AHHHH. Like, no mom. It isn't. It works in the other room. Just because there is a fucking plant near the satellite dish means nothing.

She always does this. And it pisses me of every time. 

I cleaned Lemon's bowl the other day, and it's really murky. I don't know why and it worries me.

I decided to finish watching Lost. I am on the last season. It's a really crazy show, and it's weird because it's not the sort of show I usually watch. I was thinking about what shows I've watched this summer. Here is a list:

3 seasons of Arrested Development

2 seasons of Community

Around 5 seasons of SNL

2 seasons of Lost

And countless movies.

Those are the things that I planed on watching anyways. TV, you are my life. I am yours. Never leave me.