Know your age

Everyone has those moments where they freak out over something. Whether it's the future, their relationship status, their job, or their family. It could be anything no matter how big or small. I do all of this daily. I'm sitting here feeling like a heap of steaming shit (visual needed) because I am a fucking failure and horrible person. But at the end of the day I am still a 17 year old girl trying to figure out her place.

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone younger than me complains about something in their life, especially about their future or their love life. Everyone needs to be able to step back and realize everything will change in a few years. Realistically, life doesn't start until you're in you're totally self reliant and facing the real world. And that's scary.

I am no where near that, and I am scared to death. I sit here and think that it will never come. That I will forever be the worst, and blogging about it. I will forever be unhappy and alone. But I keep reminding myself that this year of my life really means little. I need to keep that hope that things will get better.

I've never felt so fucking alone. Even when I'm with people, I feel alone. I just want things to be different, but they can't be right now. I want things to be in my favour, but they might never be. I want to not come home and crumble to the floor and have to pick myself back up everyday because I don't know how long I can do this for.

I want to be able to say, "It did get better," instead of, "It will get better," because I'm tired.

But once again, at the end of the day, even when I crumble, I am still 17 with years ahead of better experiences, more people, and happiness. As long as I keep reminding myself of that, I might just be okay.