Things I will never understand 2

I thought of more. Here goes nothing. Once again, you could probably explain it to me, but I will probably go on and not understand.
Things I will never understand 1


1. Cameras
They can take a screenshot of your life. Exactly how it looked. I don't understand how something can do that. Everyone uses them, but sit down and think about what it's doing. It's mind-blowing. Same with videos. A moving picture of something that happened. Exactly as it happened and how it happened. Freaks me out.

2. Domestic Pets
Have you ever just looked at your cat or dog and thought, "This is a beast. A real life creature. And it likes me." Watch it move and skulk about. They are so different from humans, yet they can build relationships with them. We can train them to do our evil bidding. Then look outside. Those animals don't like us.

3. Taste
How one thing can taste like heaven to me, but like shit to another person. How the taste of something can alter our moods and feelings. How things can taste sweet and bitter and salty. How I can say sweet, bitter, and salty and you know the distinctive difference.

4. Flying
Birds can fly. They can flap those little wings and take off. They fly over such long distances. Same with planes. It is a freaking hunk of metal in the sky! People travel across the world in them.

5. Language
I find it so weird that I can type this out and understand what it says. I place each individual letter to create words of the English language in which I speak. How did the word tree get named for that giant thing outside?How did any of these words get named? How does our brain process all these random squiggles in our alphabet to form something comprehensible? How do I know all these words? How do you teach someone this? Why do we have so many different languages? Sophisticated language is one of the things that separates us from primates. It is truly amazing.

Wouldn't it be hilarious

So I have this reoccurring thought. Let's get into more details, shall we?

I think it would be hilarious if someone put a top secret, hidden microphone in my room for one day. Oh the things they would hear. That sounds dirty (maybe it is). It's just that I'm insane, so I say random things out loud and talk to myself constantly.
Like if I was reading a paragraph like this: (Why can't you use tab on this site?) (Fail sauce.)

      Today a young rabbit was found dead in a wooded area in Hilterburg, Alaska. It is a tragic story and we have so little answers. What was a rabbit doing in the woods? Should we assume foul play? Where was Pedo-Cloud when this happened? Badger Police Chief Duncan Jumbles was first on the scene, "It was a mess. There was a fallen tree near by and it was rotting. Bugs were everywhere!" When we reminded Chief Jumbles about the young rabbit he responded, "Holy shit! There was a dead body there!? That's disgusting! Oh my God!" Badger Police is currently looking for a new Chief. Oh, we just got word that the rabbit was actually a ninety-seven year old man who escaped from the seniors home beside the wooded area. More of this story at six.

What was I even talking about? I had way too much fun writing that. Did you notice how it went from a news paper article to a written news cast somehow. Magic.

Anyways, as I was writing that I was first like, "Why the fuck won't the tab work!?" Then it was pretty much all giggles from there.
From my point before, I take random words from sentences, when I'm alone, say them out loud, and either swear or laugh, or swear then laugh.

I always do this thing where I say, "I know." I will think something, then out loud I will say that. I annoy myself because it's just an impulse thing. But I mostly just swear out loud to myself.

P.s. Please don't actually sneak into my room and place a microphone in here. 

From your paranoid friend, Duncan Jumbles.