Weird Dreams

I've been having weird dreams over the past couple days. I am going to tell you about them.

Okay, this one dream I had, I came home and my house was completely different. I was really confused. It was really awesome, like all new and complected. And it was huge. I kept wandering around, trying to find my room. There was so many people over. I think they were my family visiting or something. I got mad at one lady. I was still trying to find my room, when I went up this ramp thing off the kitchen and I found a nursery. There was some like 10 year old boy in it with a toddler. I think he was supposed to be my cousin. At that moment I realized that all these people were going to be living with us.
It was weird after that because I was like, "This better be a dream. I need to wake up." When I didn't wake up, I thought it was real. I texted my friend saying, "This better be a dream or I'm going to freak." Which, thinking back, is really funny. I finally found my room, and it was big, but none of my old things were in it. There was a fish tank, and I ran up to it trying to find Lemon, but there was just a bunch of exotic fish. Then this dragon looking fish and some other random one started fighting.
It was a really weird dream.

This other dream I had last night. It was an awesome dream, but, once again, weird.

I was at some sort of camp or something. We were having a spaghetti dinner. Tina Fey was there. She came up to me and asked if I was going to sit next to her. I asked if she wanted me to because there was an obvious separation from the adults and kids. She said of course. So, I got my food, which was a challenge because there was a lot of people. I sat down across from Tina, and Seth Meyers* sat down next to me. Tina and I didn't talk much, but Seth started talking to me. He was asking me random questions about high school, I think he thought I was younger. He then said something like I was quiet or something, and I told him I didn't really like to talk. And Tina was like, what, you talk all the time! And we had a good laugh. Seth offered to drive me home, even though it was like a 4 hour drive from this camp. I said yes. We stopped at his house first because he had to get something, and I thought it was weird that he still had a Christmas tree up. It was one of those small, fake ones. I assumed it was because he works a lot. He also had a cat. When we were driving, this car literally fell down a giant set of stairs and hit us, but it wasn't bad and we kept driving.
I was a weirdly awesome dream.

Sometimes I will go for months without remembering my dreams, but then I will have a week where I remember a bunch. I hope you enjoyed my crazy dreams.


__________________
*Seth Meyers is the head writer of SNL, and he also does Weekend Update. Here is a picture of him for visual purposes. (Or just because he is gorgeous. Either way, look at his face.)

Things I will never understand 2

I thought of more. Here goes nothing. Once again, you could probably explain it to me, but I will probably go on and not understand.
Things I will never understand 1


1. Cameras
They can take a screenshot of your life. Exactly how it looked. I don't understand how something can do that. Everyone uses them, but sit down and think about what it's doing. It's mind-blowing. Same with videos. A moving picture of something that happened. Exactly as it happened and how it happened. Freaks me out.

2. Domestic Pets
Have you ever just looked at your cat or dog and thought, "This is a beast. A real life creature. And it likes me." Watch it move and skulk about. They are so different from humans, yet they can build relationships with them. We can train them to do our evil bidding. Then look outside. Those animals don't like us.

3. Taste
How one thing can taste like heaven to me, but like shit to another person. How the taste of something can alter our moods and feelings. How things can taste sweet and bitter and salty. How I can say sweet, bitter, and salty and you know the distinctive difference.

4. Flying
Birds can fly. They can flap those little wings and take off. They fly over such long distances. Same with planes. It is a freaking hunk of metal in the sky! People travel across the world in them.

5. Language
I find it so weird that I can type this out and understand what it says. I place each individual letter to create words of the English language in which I speak. How did the word tree get named for that giant thing outside?How did any of these words get named? How does our brain process all these random squiggles in our alphabet to form something comprehensible? How do I know all these words? How do you teach someone this? Why do we have so many different languages? Sophisticated language is one of the things that separates us from primates. It is truly amazing.

SNL monologue 2

This is the first one I've ever thought of. Please, feel free to judge me.



STEPHANIE DOUGHTY MONOLOGUE ~ Stephanie Doughty/Tina Fey/Amy Poehler




(OPEN ON: STEPHANIE COMING DOWN TO CENTER STAGE.)




           STEPHANIE


Hello everyone! Wow, it's so amazing to be here a Saturday Night Live! Every Saturday night I would blow off all the cool teen parties and social events, that I was of course invited to, and stay in my room to watch SNL. It feels just like yesterday that I was spending my summer vacation watching old episodes. Episode after episode, hour after hour. Best summer ever. The seasons with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler doing Weekend Update were by far my favourite. Actually, let me tell you a little secret. My most deep, dark, wish is that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are my lesbian moms.


(TINA AND AMY COME OUT, HOLDING HANDS, LOOKING BUTCH.)


           TINA


Didn't anyone ever tell you sweetie?


           AMY


When you make a wish on the SNL stage, it comes true.


(OUT OF CHARACTER)
           
           TINA


No matter how very weird it may be.


           AMY


Yeah, seriously. What teenage girl dreams of this in her spare time?


(REALIZING THEY WENT OUT OF CHARACTER, GOES BACK INTO CHARACTER.)


           TINA


She is our daughter though, and we love her.


           STEPHANIE


Oh moms! I love you too! We have a great show for you tonight! The Submarines are here! Stick around, we'll be right back!


(CAMERA PANS AWAY WITH STEPHANIE, TINA, AND AMY BECOMING BEST FRIENDS.)

Animal Crossing

Animal Crossing is my favourite game ever. I've played it since the ever popular GameCube version. I then played Animal Crossing Wild World for DS, and currently play Animal Crossing City Folk for Wii.

If you know nothing about the game, here is a little summary: You live your life in a small town with residents that are only animals. You earn money, customize your house, enjoy the seasons, participate in event, and make friends. They time changes like real time, so as I'm writing this, the game is technically changing too.

You make the game your own. There are no winners or losers, only players. I love that. I love the community aspect of it. If you leave for a couple months, you can always come back. Things will have changed, but you can always get right back on track again.

Every month there is something different to look forward to. Everyday there are simple tasks to do. You can celebrate your birthday, Christmas, Easter, Thanks Giving, New Years and many more. It adds to the excitement of the day knowing that there is always something waiting for you on Animal Crossing.

There are no bad days on Animal Crossing.

Punching light switches

When I'm mad I punch light switches off. It's like punching a wall, but with a purpose. I'm so fucking pissed off; I could punch all the fucking light switches in this damn house.

Have I mentioned lately that I hate my family? I fucking hate my family. I hate when they have people over. I hate when those people happen to be more family.

When they pick up on my foul moods they are just like, "Oh, you're tired." and I'm like, "No." Then I go into a corner and whisper swear words to myself.

I'm going to go watch a movie now. When it's over I will go and survey the damage and look after this household for another night.

I can't do this anymore.