Surprise party success

Yesterday was my Nannie's 80th surprise birthday party. We have been planning this bad-boy for months. I was beginning to feel like Sue:

If you don't know who Sue is then you don't watch enough SNL. Anyways, I just wanted to get this over with because I knew I was going to slip up. I will keep your secret, I will lie to your face, but I am the worst with surprises.

But she came in the room under the false pretense of going to the casino and the Littlest of Nins was blown away. There were a bunch of people there, a bunch of food, and a bunch of decorations. The best part of it all was the fact that she had no idea at all.

We had the party in a museum, so my brother and I thought we would take a little tour when things started to get dull in the party room. My brother and I have fun. As we get older I am realizing that we can be ourselves around each other and not have it be weird. I also realize how much we are a like. I am of course much funnier though.

This museum had no one in it but us. So I was going up to mannequins and saying things like, "Sir, sir, excuse me. Sir, I know you're busy but this will just take a second. Sir, please. Wow, what a jerk." And then my uncle came and got us for pictures, and there was this like fake boat with a moving background, and he was like, "Woah, it's moving!" and I was like, "I know! We went in it and it's like we left the museum!" With a lot of fake enthusiasm. He thinks I'm hilarious.

A little while later, my brother and I went to explore some more, but with my eleven year old cousin. I kept telling her all this fake information and just making up random facts, as well as going to old pictures and telling her the I knew them and naming all of them. My favourite part was when I signed the guest book, "Stephanie Jenkins, and in comments wrote: I'm from Australia! I love this place like a brother." Maybe I think I'm funnier then I actually am, but we were having fun. I went up to the same mannequin I was talking to earlier, but with my cousin and was like, "Sir, sir, you have another visitor. Sir, please talk to me."

My uncle wanted me to make a slot machine for my Nannie for a fun little joke about the casino. So, I did. And it was difficult. But it was pretty funny when we unveiled it. He gave me credit and everything, which was pretty embarrassing, but I made due. This is the slot machine:

It turned out pretty well. It's not like it was supposed to look real or anything. People laughed.

After the party, some people came back to my house. It wasn't too bad. My cousin and I hid in my room. We were soon joined by my other cousin whom I do not get along with too well, but we bonded over gossiping over our other cousin who looks like a skank. Confusing? Maybe. We were also joined by my brother and we played would you rather on my iPod. I found out a lot about people. Like for instance, how my brother would rather have 10 children than 0. That was kind of shocking.

I also find it cool how everyone just adores my room. Everyone is always saying how awesome it is. And how talented I am. I just kind of soak it all up. I love my family knowing that I am hilarious and talented. Winks.

I also want to talk about how cute my two year old cousin is because he is so cute. I picked him up, put him on my lap and was showing him my desktop because it's a picture of my cat:

And he was using the mouse and clicking things and making her 'dance' and then I gave him my little plastic lamb and we were having a dance party with them and it was so funny and so cute. I was also meowing and got him meowing and it was so cuttee!!! Babies may scare me, but toddlers are just so cute.

This has been long, but that's the recap of the party! It was pretty wonderful. I am now watching the SAG awards. I love me some award shows.

The Mandarin experience

I had a really wonderful day. I spent 12-10pm with my friends from Commotion. Yes, I have other friends now, so suck it bitchezz! (That was a joke, I still love you guys the most). It's weird having friends at school though. Like I am friends will boys and girls in different grades that all go to my school. I can joke with them, laugh with them, and just be myself around them.

At noon we all met up at the Mandarin. There were ten of us there. We were that obnoxious group of teenagers that everyone hated and I kind of loved that. We ate too much and stayed too long. We gave weird amounts of change and the little Asian woman wanted to murder us. We just had fun.

We left around three and went to Macintosh's house. We needed somewhere to go until six where we were all going to Allie's house. That was already planned because she had to work and couldn't go to the Mandarin. Confused yet? Anyways, at Mac's house we pretty much just played dance video games on his Xbox and Wii singing games. Glee's 'Don't Stop Believing' was a huge hit. So much obnoxious singing, but also some nice songs. Jess and I have an ongoing joke that hers and my characters from the play are secretly lesbian lovers, (too be told in the sequel), so we also pretend to flirt and stuff. Needless to say, we did a duet together.

Then off to Allie's house. At this point there were only seven of us, but we still had a wonderful time. Allie has a pool table, and let me just tell you, I am amazing at pool. I won every game except one, but that's only because my partner was bad. I don't like playing partners. Everyone was like, "Guurrrll, you've got some mad skillz!" and I was like, "You know it homie!" because that is how we talk apparently.

It has been a fun day. Long, but fun. Filled with inappropriate jokes, singing, and pool. Yep.

Jimmy Fallon is on SNL tonight and I am beyond excited. Tina better be on it. They better do amazing sketches. Ahhh, I am so excited! Do not disappoint me Jimmy.

Kind of a big deal

So, I preformed my play today. It went very well! I was shocked. In myself mostly. I remembered all my lines, I made few errors, and I was not even nervous.

Before hand I was freaking out, but once I was on stage in front of the audience, it was nothing. It think it has a lot to do with not being alone. You feed off the others around you because you feel a level of comfort with them, I really like that.

Random side note: I am watching an episode of SNL, season 28, episode 4 (which is like 2002), and the host is Eric McCormack. You're probably like who the hell is that, as I was. But I am realizing that the host does not make the show. This is one of the best episodes I've seen.

I just watched a sketch and Tina was in it! Which is a rare occurrence. She played a news anchor who suddenly falls in love with the stand in news anchor. It is hilarious because everyone is talking about their love and not focusing on the real issues in the news. Also, Amy Poehler plays an uptight reporter named Stephanie and Tina says my name a bunch of times, which is always awesome.

So, anyways, the performance went very well. I am proud of myself. I am looking forward to doing it again.

Shit, I really need to figure out what I am doing in the future...

SNL monologue 2

This is the first one I've ever thought of. Please, feel free to judge me.



STEPHANIE DOUGHTY MONOLOGUE ~ Stephanie Doughty/Tina Fey/Amy Poehler




(OPEN ON: STEPHANIE COMING DOWN TO CENTER STAGE.)




           STEPHANIE


Hello everyone! Wow, it's so amazing to be here a Saturday Night Live! Every Saturday night I would blow off all the cool teen parties and social events, that I was of course invited to, and stay in my room to watch SNL. It feels just like yesterday that I was spending my summer vacation watching old episodes. Episode after episode, hour after hour. Best summer ever. The seasons with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler doing Weekend Update were by far my favourite. Actually, let me tell you a little secret. My most deep, dark, wish is that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are my lesbian moms.


(TINA AND AMY COME OUT, HOLDING HANDS, LOOKING BUTCH.)


           TINA


Didn't anyone ever tell you sweetie?


           AMY


When you make a wish on the SNL stage, it comes true.


(OUT OF CHARACTER)
           
           TINA


No matter how very weird it may be.


           AMY


Yeah, seriously. What teenage girl dreams of this in her spare time?


(REALIZING THEY WENT OUT OF CHARACTER, GOES BACK INTO CHARACTER.)


           TINA


She is our daughter though, and we love her.


           STEPHANIE


Oh moms! I love you too! We have a great show for you tonight! The Submarines are here! Stick around, we'll be right back!


(CAMERA PANS AWAY WITH STEPHANIE, TINA, AND AMY BECOMING BEST FRIENDS.)

Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!

Saturday Night Live is a digital time capsule. It started in 1975, way before my time. Since then it has been challenging society with sketches based on utter nonsense to pure, satire gold. Saturday Night Live is literally a timeline of humor, politics, and horrible hairstyles.

The show consists of an opening sketch starting at exactly 11:29:30, then moves to the opening monologue from the celebrity host, multiple sketches, the first performance from the musical guest, Weekend Update (the best part of the show), more sketches, the second musical performance, more sketches, and then the closing remarks. The show is 90 minutes long, including commercials.

Now that you know a little about it, let me just say this: I love Saturday Night Live.

Some of my favourite people have come out of it: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Jimmy Fallon, Kristen Wiig and Seth Meyers are still on it. I bet you would be surprised who has been on SNL over the years.

I have recently been watching SNL, season 30, which is from 2004-2005. Tina Fey and Amy Pohler are the Weekend Update people. Okay, I'll do it. FROM STUDIO 8H IN ROCKEFELLER CENTER, IT'S WEEKEND UPDATE WITH TINA FEY AND AMY POEHLER!

I find it so weird when they talk about news stories and I already know the outcome. Michael Jackson's court case was a very popular news story at the time, I just sit here going, "Well, he's dead now, it was never proven that he did, in fact, molest all those children." Or when they talk about Osama, I'm like, "You guys just killed him!"

I love the live aspect because anything can happen. If they laugh, they laugh. If a prop breaks, it breaks. If Ashlee Simpson is caught lip syncing, she is lip syncing. There is really no way around it, you just have to deal.

I also have so much respect for any celebrity who goes on SNL because they are there to pretty much make a fool of themselves on live TV.

If you have never watched SNL, I suggest you start now. Right this second. Also, tune in when I am on the show. I will start off as a writer, then get put on Weekend Update with some cute boy because I am reliable and he is cute and funny. We will have an on screen romance, and I will not be married, so it will blossom into a real romance. He will leave to start a talk show and I will get placed with my best friend. Oh, the fun we will have. I will then leave to start my own sitcom about behind the scenes of live TV.

OR, I will be on with my band 'Casual Hello'. I will offer to be in a sketch and it will be awesome.

OR, I will host when I get famous. In my monologue I will talk about how I want Tina Fey and Amy Poehler to be my lesbian moms. They will show up dressed as stereotypical lesbians and it will be super funny. The musical guest will be Owl City, and that's how I meet my husband.

Oh, SNL, how you make me dream.