The Littlest of Nin's

My Nannie is awesome. She is 79 but doesn't look a day over 60. She is on a  fixed income but spends like nobodies business. She is a maneater but only uses her powers for good. She is a honey badger. Honey badger don't care. Honey badger doesn't give a shit.

Candid shot I took at Easter
From left to right: Joe, Lil' Nin, Uncle Mark

My Nannie picked me up today for some company while she went grocery shopping. We were pleasantly walking through the isles when we walked pasted some old man. My Nannie of course knew him, she knows everyone. They talked and talked about their friend that's in the hospital. When we went our separate ways my Nannie whispered to me, "I almost married that guy." She has numerous stories like this.

Lil' Nin has been married three times and proposed to at least 5 times (that's the number I now know anyways). The first time was when she was 16. She only said yes because she liked his car. The proposal didn't last long. The next time was to my mom, aunt and uncle's father. Whom she happily married. He sadly passed away when my mom was little though. Next she married a douche, who she divorced, but is the father of my other aunt. I'm guessing the proposal of the grocery store guy came somewhere around here. She was also married to a very nice Italian man. He was the only Grandpa I knew from that side of the family. He sadly passed away too. And then there's Joe. I guess you could call him my Nannie's boyfriend. She doesn't want to get married again though, so she won't.

When we were pulling into the grocery store, my Nannie said something like this, "Yeah lady, pass in front of me if you want to get run down." She's hilarious with her uncanny swearing and road rage.

Lil' Nin and I have fun. She buys me things and I say, "No Nannie, you don't have to get that!" and I spend time with her and let her tell me all her crazy stories about the olden days.

Yes, Lil' Nin and I have fun.

12:59 Lullaby

What a messed up day. The power went off and stayed off. I like totally almost died. Turns out Stephanie - internet = dead.

12:59 Lullaby - Bedouin Soundclash:

This is one of my favourite songs to play on the ukulele. And I guess it's a pretty cute song too. When I hear it I have flashbacks of seeing them live. What sticks out is how many drunk people there were. So many drunk people.
I think I'm going to start ending my posts with 'stay fresh'.


So stay fresh folks!
(Not as cool as I thought.)

Parks and Recreation

I decided to re-watch the wonderful show titled Parks and Recreation. If you haven't watched it, go do that now.
It stars one of my favourite people, Amy Poehler.

This is why I love this show.

I love how it could be real life. Like The Office it is a 'mocumentary', but instead of office life it focuses on small town government. And as you know, 30 Rock is the best show ever, but a lot of crazy shit happens on that show that's hilarious, but very unlikely. With a mocumentary you get people with unrealistic personalities in everyday situations.

With it staying light out for long I keep getting messed up about the time! I thought it was like 6, but it's like 8. I hate that. If the times name was Ann, it would probably go down something like this:

I also love the casual use of fuck. Obviously they bleep it, but it just adds to the normal aspect. Adults working in government are going to say the f-bomb from time to time. I'm all about casual fuck. You took that the wrong way, didn't you?

Wouldn't it be hilarious

So I have this reoccurring thought. Let's get into more details, shall we?

I think it would be hilarious if someone put a top secret, hidden microphone in my room for one day. Oh the things they would hear. That sounds dirty (maybe it is). It's just that I'm insane, so I say random things out loud and talk to myself constantly.
Like if I was reading a paragraph like this: (Why can't you use tab on this site?) (Fail sauce.)

      Today a young rabbit was found dead in a wooded area in Hilterburg, Alaska. It is a tragic story and we have so little answers. What was a rabbit doing in the woods? Should we assume foul play? Where was Pedo-Cloud when this happened? Badger Police Chief Duncan Jumbles was first on the scene, "It was a mess. There was a fallen tree near by and it was rotting. Bugs were everywhere!" When we reminded Chief Jumbles about the young rabbit he responded, "Holy shit! There was a dead body there!? That's disgusting! Oh my God!" Badger Police is currently looking for a new Chief. Oh, we just got word that the rabbit was actually a ninety-seven year old man who escaped from the seniors home beside the wooded area. More of this story at six.

What was I even talking about? I had way too much fun writing that. Did you notice how it went from a news paper article to a written news cast somehow. Magic.

Anyways, as I was writing that I was first like, "Why the fuck won't the tab work!?" Then it was pretty much all giggles from there.
From my point before, I take random words from sentences, when I'm alone, say them out loud, and either swear or laugh, or swear then laugh.

I always do this thing where I say, "I know." I will think something, then out loud I will say that. I annoy myself because it's just an impulse thing. But I mostly just swear out loud to myself.

P.s. Please don't actually sneak into my room and place a microphone in here. 

From your paranoid friend, Duncan Jumbles.

Mini marathons by myself

I love movies. In the past two days I have watched 6 movies. Here is a list of them:

• Date Night
• Get Smart
• Water for Elephants
• Mean Girls
• Dinner for Schmucks
• Baby Mama

I am totally going to watch Mega Mind tonight too.

If you know anything about these movies, you know who star in them. Excluding Water for Elephants, Tina Fey and Steve Carell seem to pop up a lot...
I have this thing where I have Tina Fey and Steve Carell marathons by myself. And of course Amy Poehler! She doesn't seem to be in a lot of movies without Tina Fey though so it all works out.
And I just went to see Water for Elephants with a dumb bitch (kidding <3) randomly in the middle of my marathon.

You all know I have an obvious love for Mrs. Fey. I love Steve Carell in a different way, but he is definitely my favourite actor. And Amy Poehler is also amazing of course.

(I have this secret wish that Tina Fey and Amy Poeher were my lesbian moms.)


There is just something about watching your favourite actors and actresses in a movie that automatically make the movie wonderful. This is why Baby Mama and Date Night are two of my all time favourite movies.


(I have this other secret wish that Tina Fey and Steve Carell were my parents.)

I love how movies tell an entire story and sometimes entire lifetimes in less then two hours. There is no much information to soak up while you're loving every second of it.

(My most secret wish is that if I were to die sometime soon, I would be reborn as Tina Fey's unborn child.)

I recommend any of these movies, go get watching.

Drive My Soul

It's still Thursday! I'm sorry you had to wait so long for this... *cricket sounds*

This wonderful Thursday I decided to do this song because I like it. I've been listening to Lights lately and I think this is my favourite Lights song. I think it sounds good acoustic, so I owned this cover, like a boss. (See what I did there?)


Drive My Soul - Lights

(Now uploading from YouTube.)

So, today was just awesome. It had a lot to do from 8-11pm. The Vampire Diaries is kind of stupid though. But I cried during The Office: "Don't leave Michael!". I fell in love during Parks and Recreation: "Ben and Leslie! *heart hands*". And I just died out of sheer joy from one hour 30 Rock! *Walks into living room* "Did you guys hear? ONE HOUR 30 ROCK!" *Walks back into bedroom*.

Though I am 'tired as fuck'. Does anyone else not understand that? How is fuck a comparison word to tired? (Don't answer that perv.) On this happy note, Happy Easter! TTYL BFF'S!

(And for the record, Tina Fey uses the word fuck casually in her book, so I'm going to use it casually here.)

Dumb Bitches

There is nothing that pisses me off more then a dumb bitch.

I know what you're thinking, "Stephanie, there are so many types of dumb bitches in the world. What kind are you referring to?"
Well whoever just asked that, I will tell you.

One of the things I hate most is school. At school you will find an endless supply of dumb bitches. Today I will follow a couple kinds of them. These are their stories (dun dun). (If you didn't get that it was Law and Order.) (If you did, congratulations.)

Stopping in the hall
In their natural habitat - the hallway between classes - dumb bitches find it necessary to either stop abruptly or turn around to share make-up secrets with fellow dumb bitches. Dumb bitches feel no need to walk to to side first, like us norm, and then go about their business. Such as picking up a shiny object off the floor that caught their eyes.

Opening doors
Now, don't get me wrong, this isn't about me expecting the dumb bitches to open doors for me. This is about simply keeping the doors open. There are doors you have to open before the stairwells. Between classes the stairwells are busy, obviously. So, the doors obviously need to stay open for people to walk through. Dumb bitches do not understand this concept. The door is open, they walk through. The door closes on the next person. Stephanie does not comprehend! Are you too weak? Are you unaware? Do you think you're better then everyone else? No, you're just a dumb bitch.

Talking
Dumb bitches feel the need to talk. Loudly. About things that really shouldn't matter. I'm not saying that it's wrong to be talking about shit with your friend, but is it necessary to shout in the hallway, "OH TO THE EM TO THE GEE, STACY WAS TALKING SHIT ABOUT ME!" Yes by the way, dumb bitches like to rhyme their sentences. I wish one of the dumb bitch's friend who is more on the norm side would just smack her and tell her to calm her shit. This would result in a high-five and an overall win for the norm society.

Remembering
Hi, dumb bitch, it's me Stephanie. I know you know my name. Guess what, it's not 'that girl'. You. Know. My. Name. Once again, Stephanie does not comprehend. Dumb bitches continue to surprise me.

Clans
Dumb bitches always travel in packs of 4 or more. It all depends on time of day. Lunch time seems to be dumb bitch meetup of the century. There they are sitting, not eating, talking loudly, making a scene. I wonder what's going inside their heads. Do they think if they go to the bathroom alone they will be ambushed and turned into a norm? I don't think it is that easy. Years of electroshock therapy may only make a dent.

Well, there's my rant. Next time a dumb bitch pisses you off think of this and remember: Dumb bitches are harder to come across in the real world. Smack the people that say high school never ends. If that is the case then I am leaving this world.

Over-sized and yellow

Despite your best guess, I am not in a banana costume, in a Sponge-Bob suit or talking about a character from The Simpson's penis.
I am talking about this awesome track-suit though.

I am a frequent borrower of my mothers track-pants for many reasons, some of which include:

1. She has a lot of them.
2. They always seem to be clean.
3. I only have three pairs.
4. Mine never seem to be clean.

These yellow ones are by far my favourite. They are soft and warm and the elastic band is not worn out one bit. They remind me of my childhood because my mom has been wearing them forever. I actually find it so weird that I can fit into them because my mom had them when I was little and could see no way ever fitting into them back then.

Getting into all these nostalgic feelings, I decided to go ask my mom where she came across this wonderful yellow outfit and when. 

I'll just be right back...

As I walked into the kitchen my dad called me Little Lynn. Anyways, I got the information.

My mother purchased this delightful ensemble at 'Crazy Lee's'. Yeah, I thought she was joking too. It was the late 80's so fashion wasn't really at it's highest point. Woah, I just thought of something. Maybe the sweater is stretched out so much because my mom wore it when she was pregnant. Mind blown.

I don't think I've ever read the sweater before, this is what it says:

Superior Quality, JEANWORKS, Outdoor Gear,
LIMITED EDITION, EST. 1882

They really don't make them like this anymore.

This is my 'stay-home' look.
I know you're jealous.

Rainy Saturday

I love rain. I love the smell and the look of it. I love how the world looks when it's pouring. Everything is darker and a little sleepier and a whole lot less active.

The only days I am really angry at the rain are the days I have to walk to school. I only have to about once a week, if that. It seems like every time I do have to though it is raining. Then I worry about my hair. My hair is not good with wetness in general. It tends to poof out and frizz like nobodies business.

Anyways, back on topic, I love rainy weekends. On top of that I am also kind of sick. Both of those combined made the best day ever. Nothing was expected of me, no where to go, everything to do.

Pedo-Cloud

That's right Pedo-Cloud. I stayed in my room and watched 30 Rock. Turns out on Friday nights I go crazy from sleep deprivation all week and go to bed early*. It also turns out my insomnia is a bitch who won't let me fall asleep even when I can't open my eyes. But what's a different story.

So, wow, off topic again. Alright, so I went to bed early and slept in until about 11am. I don't physically get out of bed until around 12:30pm though. I love that. Just lying in bed without a care in the world. No where to be, nothing to do, no deadlines. 

My breakfast was made up of cranberry juice and two waffles but our dumbass toaster is broken so I have to hold the stupid thing down because it wan't stay on it's own. While I was stranded by the toaster I put on our convenient little kitchen television and watched Pokemon. I ate and chatted to my mother, who wanted me to take cough medicine, which I refused. This continued throughout the day.

I then went right to my computer, turned it on and caught up on YouTube, Facebook and Tumblr. After that, it was around 2pm. I then went to the website I spend most of my time on right now - where I watch 30 Rock. I started on season 4, episode 2. 

Before I started watching it though, I thought I would make some lunch. I have this new thing for frozen french fries. I feel like a good cook because our oven sucks at making fries crispy, so I have to get creative and not follow the directions. I Lemoned the situation, did is awesome. I made french fries and Ceasar salad for my brother and I. It's kind of my thing. Needless to say, I ate a ton. 

So, back to 30 Rock. I watched from episode 2 to episode 13 today. But it's only 10:30pm. There is a lot more to come. I am always too well rested on Saturday nights, which means not sleeping. I also played the Sims for a little bit, but I didn't do much on it so there is nothing really to mention.

That there is my day in a nutshell. It was a wonderful day. I did get some things accomplished besides this too. I hope you enjoyed your rainy/sunny/cloudy/snowy/hurricaney/magical Saturday as much as I did.

__________________________________________________________________________________

*Early for me. I tend to crawl into bed around 1am.

Cobweb of Rainbows

So, today's Thursday! Also known as THE BEST DAY EVER! It is also, of course, the day I bring you a video of me doing my best. I know what you're thinking: That's what she said.
On a serious note, this song is me. It's like someone wrote it for me. It's like someone stuck a straw inside of me an drank my feelings in a totally non-disgusting way!


Cobweb of Rainbows - Becca:

It's one of those songs that says so much in so little words!



AHAHAHAHA.  If anyone knows there this is from, pre-Google, you my friend earn 107 cool points.
I have a cough, so it was making it hard to finish a whole song. I think I made a good choice though.

I also think the batteries in my keyboard are going. This is taking too long to write, some of the keys won't work sometimes.

Anyways, have a wonderful Thursday. If you're ever feeling down, just listen to this nonsense and smile.

I'm the worst

These are just things I do.

1. Listen to my iPod every free moment in class.
2. Move my fingers in a piano-like fashion to the music. I don't play piano.
3. Yell at my family when they come in my room.
4. Spend too much time in my room.
5. Spend too much time alone.
6. Make references I know no one else will get.
7. Slop food all over my clothes.
8. Continue to eat the food off my clothes.
9. Write fan-fiction in my head.
10. Get disappointed when it doesn't happen.
11. Think I'm a lot stronger then I am.
12. Use sarcasm to keep people out.
13. Eat, always.
14. Get upset over stupid things.
15. Don't share how I'm feeling often.
16. Live vicariously though my Sims.
17. Feel like I have a connection to people I don't know.
18. Write down lists of things to do.
19. Don't do most things on list.
20. Feel the need to tell someone when I've accomplished something.
21. Always move my toes.
22. Watch way too much television.
23. Have unreal expectations about life.
24. Sit awkwardly on chairs.
25. Want way too many things.
26. Think nobody knows who I am.
27. Get frustrated when people don't know already.
28. Ask questions I already know the answer to.

I was just going to write a couple, but they just kept coming. I could have probably kept going. I keep thinking it's later in the week.  

I think I talk about 30 Rock too much

"You got into this business because you're funny and you're weird and you're socially retarded. You also got into it because it pays well."

This quote is said by Jack in season 2, episode 4 of 30 Rock. He, of course, is saying it to Liz.

It really stuck out to me though because, well, it pretty much explains me. I knew Liz Lemon and I have quite a bit in common but I never really thought about going into the comedy business.
I could join The Second City improvisation school in Toronto, then move on to be a writer for SNL, then start my own sitcom about life as a writer on a live television show.

Oh, wait.
I think that has been done before.

Anyways, it just got me thinking about what I'm going to do after stupid high school. Right now I am scared of the future and change and Pig Latin.

I don't know what I want to do yet or where I want to do it. It seems like there is so much pressure on me, put on by myself.

Thinking about it freaks me out, so I'm going to go back to watching more 30 Rock.

Think less.

I've watched 10 episodes of 30 Rock tonight.
I'm currently holding a pillow in my hand but I don't know how it got there.
The veins in my hands are standing out and I don't like it.
I wish a was a character in The Lord Of The Rings.
My colon hurts but I don't know where it is.
Gofers should not be allowed on the moon.
This hunky grandma be trippin'.
I'm worried for Dr. Hawks on CSI:NY, his girlfriend is a bad influence.
I just put DR. instead of professor to avoid spelling professor.
Hawks isn't even a professor.
I spelled it wrong all three times so I had to Google it.
What did we seriously do before Google?
I know it's not even late but it's been a long week.
I'm going to sleep in tomorrow and hate every second of it.
I constantly worry about the temperature of my hands, feet and nose.
So, so cold.
I need to cash in this $5 I won on a Banco scratch ticket.
Head hurts.
Everything hurts.
I love cornbread so much I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.
I declare bankruptcy!
I sit really awkwardly on my computer chair.
I hate it how these track pants 'bag out' at the knees.
Like, just stay unbagged bro.
It's such a funny thing, how nothing's funny when it's you.
Harry Potter is like a freaking miracle worker.
I don't know why I feel the need to drum on my desk with my fingers.
You wish you had Dragonball Z streamers.
Bird faces are overrated.
Nothing will change, nothing will end, hold your head strong, do not depend.

Speak Now

So, this is my ukulele cover. This deadline thing is a bitch. I actually recorded about eight different songs and this one was the best, so leave me alone! *Eats meat sandwich and cries self into meat coma*


Speak Now - Taylor Swift:

Maybe I will start just making these audio.


So, props to you for watching the whole thing, if you didn't, well, good, I took off my clothes at the end anyways. (Too far is my specialty, and I'm pretty sure I miss-used a bunch of commas.)

OHEMGEE

So, I own the book, here's a few pictures of me molesting it.


0 Days:

Me, happy with the book

Me, happy with a larger book.

Me, well... things got out of hand.

SO EXCITED.

If the inside of the book is half as funny as the back cover, I will be happy.

Daily Tina take seven

This made me wonder what I would confess if I thought I was going to die. I can assure you mine wouldn't be the same... ha, not at all...
ANYWAYS, tomorrow is the big day! I hope they don't sell out or something...


1 Day:

Daily Tina take six

I have a bunch of homework today. Going to make it my goal to at least watch two 30 Rock episodes in between. I honestly don't think this statement can be any more true...

2 Days:

Daily Tina take five

Not having the best of days today. 30 Rock always cheers me up.

3 Days:

Daily Tina take four

I just fell asleep for like 45 minutes. My dad came in and said that supper was ready. I woke up a little while later and didn't know if it actually happened until my mom came in with pizza. I'm quite positive I looked something like this...

4 Days: