Goodbye

See you all next year. 

LOL DO YOU GET IT!? CAUSE IT'S LIKE NEW YEARS. SO LIKE IT'S JUST TOMORROW. SO I'M LIKE TOTALLY JUST TROLLING!!!1!!one!!1!!!

Whiteboard trees

I spent an hour of my life doing this today. I think it's really cool. I would like to tell you the story behind it and how it changed from my original idea. I spent an hour on this, but like another hour beforehand on a completely different picture that I erased.

My original idea was city on top with a forest refection upside down. So I drew the line across and started with the buildings. I used a ruler. Have you ever used a ruler on a whiteboard? Not easy. But I did it. There was a line of different sized buildings across the top in black. Then I was going to make blue windows. I thought it would be cool to not use a ruler and have messy square windows. So I did that. They turned out okay. It was looking good. To add another level, I drew a satellite over the buildings in blue and was going to draw stars over the trees.

It was a real smart play on society, because that's the kind of deep stuff that comes out of my whiteboard drawings.

Then I drew the first tree. The black, upside down one. I loved it. It was on a whole other level then the buildings. It just looked so cool compared. So I said screw the buildings. I said that trees are cooler. And I killed my buildings off with a wet paper towel. They were gone. No going back now. I then drew the opposite blue tree. Loved it. Then I drew the others. And I added the 2012 because it needed something else. I might change that. Upside down twos are harder to draw then I thought.

To me, I guess it represents the unknown. It shows how there is always two sides of everything. It would make a really good album cover.

So there you have it. My work of art whiteboard that should be in a museum because of how smart it is and just its beauty in general. I might make a better copy on paper sometime. I have more ideas revolving around the same thought.

I would also like to mention that it was inspired by the EP I have been listening to all day, including while I was drawing this. It's Of Monsters And Men's new EP called Into the Woods. You should go buy it because it's wonderful.

Questions! 2.0

Name?

I have one, yes.

If you could change your eye color what would it be?
I really distracting colour, like a really light green or blue. Or purple.

What is the wallpaper on your phone?
I picture I made that says 'Blurgh!'

How many pillows on your bed?
Six. I regret nothing.

Are you sick?
No, I'm Stephanie.

Is there someone you can't stop thinking about?
Yes. (Tina Fey)

What was the worst thing that happened to you this year?
I realized I had to grow up.

Do any of your friends annoy you?
All of them. They are all stupid bitches.

Do you have a crush on somebody?
Of course.

Who was the last person that made you laugh?
As in real life person? Because I was laughing at 30 Rock a bunch, but I did see Bella last, and she would not take the damn Skittles. That was pretty funny too.

Who do you make fun of the most?
Everyone. I like to give to all.

What's the longest you've ever talked on the phone?
Probably like 3 hours.

Have you seen your best friend cry?
My friends are too cold hearted to cry.

Are your parents in love?
I'm guessing that's why they put up with each other.

Would you rather sleep at a friend's or have them over?
Sleep at a friends. Well, go to my friends and stay up while they sleep. And watch them. Watch them all.

Who is in your house right now?
The call is coming from inside the house!

Do you have a hard time admitting you're wrong?
I'm never wrong, so no.

What colour is your laundry hamper?
White. I would like to applaud this fucking brilliant question.

Does your mom make you wear a winter coat?
I wear one myself because, as a young adult, I understand that it's cold out. My mom does not need to tell me that.

Do you own any Hollister polos?
Do I look like a gay golfer?

Whats your favorite number?
Six. (ty-nine)

Do you get along with your parents?
Sometimes.

Have you ever been in love, if so, how many time?
I am always in love. With television. Who needs people?

Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you just wanted to give up?
I've never really sat down and thought my life was bad, but sure, I've been there.

Name a lyric from the last song you heard?
Cynthia is a real cool dancer. The sad part is, I'm not even joking.

What did you wear today?
Strapless gown with Spanxs underneath.

What are you doing after this?
I am going to do some writing.

Do you like hugs?
I love them, but I never get them.

Are you a loud person?
In bed? Yes.

What did you do before you went to sleep last night?
Played with Le Kitten.

How often do you hold back from saying what you are thinking?
I usually do.

Has a girl sat on your bed before?
If I say yes, does that make me a dirty whore?

Who’s the funniest person you know?
I actually am.

What is your worst subject in school?
Boy studies.

Have you ever been around someone who was high?
As in tall? Yeah, I know a lot of tall people.

Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around?
Lemon and Li'l Sebastian.

Are you usually the first to say sorry when you’re in a fight?
I make them apologize to me for getting their blood on my lady blazer.

If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you?
Yes. I would move to Australia and start my new life as a free lance writer.

How was your day?
Lazy, but enjoyable.

Could you go a day without eating?
Yeah, if it was a conscious effort.

What is something you have in common with your bestfriend?
We all enjoy my company.

Vegetarian?
No thank you, I just ate.

Hair color?
No thank you, I just ate a vegetarian.

Last person in your bedroom?
My hooker.

What are your plans for tomorrow?
I am going to take a shower. Those are my solid plans.

What brings out the worst in you?
Lack of TV.

Would you rather things be predictable or unpredictable?
Sometimes a girl likes a little surprise.

Screenplay

If I ever finish this screenplay, what are the chances it would actually get made into a movie? What are the chances that someone important would read it and be like, "Yes." What are the chances that this character that I based off myself would actually get played by me? Are there statistics on this sort of thing?

I'm not stupid. I may be a big dreamer, but I'm not dumb. I just love it so much. I want to do this forever. I'm not writing it because I think it will be made into a movie and I will be able to star in it. I just want to see if I can do it.

I am doing it legit. With legit formatting, as well as I can. It's not like I took a class on this. All I am going off of is some Commotion teachings about rough work, a Mean Girls script, and Googling anything I don't understand. And I am using Open Office. So, there's also that factor.

I have this idea. I have all the rough work sorted out. I know where I want the story to go. I know where I want it to end. I am enjoying the process.

All I have done today is write and watch 30 Rock. Good day.

Hey Jude

I was in one of those, "Let's film what I'm playing!" moods. I've been playing this song for a while and I just love it. This is the toal shortened version of it. I wish I went off at the end for like ever going, "JUDE-Y JUDE-Y JUUDEEE!!" But I digress.

As a distant relative to Mr. John Lennon, I hope I did alright. It's rough, but I enjoy it. I hope you get some enjoyment out of it too. I should have but put my Christmas lights up in the background! Oh well.

Hey Jude - The Beatles

So, if your name is Jude, call me up sometime and I will sing this to you. It will be magical, I swear.

This is what I did today:

• Cleaned my desk
• Listened to Justin Bieber's Christmas album 6 full times iTunes tells me... (I regret nothing)
• Entertained my aunt for too long
• Brushed my dog
• Dusted for my mom
• Entertained Li'l Nin
• Had wonderful, unproductive, fun times with my pals
• Wrapped gifts
• Made this cover

It's been a long day. Christmas Eve is tomorrow though! Wow. It came out of no where.

Oliver

Remember those auditions I told you about? Well, I got the part. I am shocked because the auditions went awful. It was not new Stephanie up there auditioning, it was old Stephanie who is bad at everything. I don't even know what happened. I guess it's just weird being out of the Commotion environment. And I never auditioned for anything before either. Anyways, you are now looking at (I hope you aren't actually looking at me) Old Sally! It's not a big part, but I didn't join it to act anyways.

I'm in a real play now. This is weird. If future Stephanie came up to me in August and said, "Hey, loser, guess what? In the near future you're going to be auditioning for a play! Can you believe it? Looking at you now I can't. Why are you getting up... Woah easy there! I am you from the future! Stop beating me! You're killing me! YOUR FUTURE IS OVER!" So, what you got out of this is two things. One: I would be shocked to have heard those words, and two: I would have killed future Stephanie because I would have thought I had gone mad.

I now know that I never want to audition for anything again. Being cast as a role is fine, but auditioning for one? Not so much. I think it also has to do with the fact that I am not good at picking roles for myself. I will stick with my initial plan: Write things and cast myself as the lead. It's foolproof.

Hey guess what! It's not my Christmas holidays! Two weeks of doing nothing and hating myself! I can't wait! It's so close to Christmas it's scary. I have big plans for tomorrow. I am going to clean my room because it's gotten awful. Tonight I will just watch TV and movies and eat because hell, I'm free.

Auditions

My audition is tomorrow for the musical Oliver being held at my school and I am freaking out because I am having a hard time learning my lines. I am trying out for two people, and the one I am fine with, but the other not so much. I have to memorize two scenes, one for each character.

I have never auditioned for anything before so I don't really know what to expect. Oh well, we will just see how this goes. I never thought in the history of my high school career that I would ever be auditioning for anything, let alone a play.

Oh Stephanie. Look what has become of you. How does one do a complete 180 but still stay relatively the same? I am the same because I started a new TV show and it's wonderful but also super scary. It's called American Horror Story. I'm only seven episodes in but I am kind of in love. The name is true to the show though. It is literally a horror show.

Maybe typing my lines out from memory will help:

Hello, Noah, I brought you a little bit of bacon left over from master's breakfast. Oliver! Shut the door!

And take them bits and your tea and go over there and eat them! Make haste because they'll want you to mend the shop. Do you hear?

Lor Noah. What a tease you are! Let the boy alone.

Ha ha ha, you are a one!

What's up?

What a horrid wretch! You ungrateful murderous, villain!

Dear, dear, she's going off again!

I don't know mother, maybe we should send for the Bow Street Runners.

Oliver - he's run off!

Fuck. Those weren't even right. There aren't even that many! I don't know what's going on. The gist of them are right, just not the proper wording. Blurgh. The old lady has more lines and I like her better.

I am going to go cry myself into a 30 Rock coma.

The Mandarin experience

I had a really wonderful day. I spent 12-10pm with my friends from Commotion. Yes, I have other friends now, so suck it bitchezz! (That was a joke, I still love you guys the most). It's weird having friends at school though. Like I am friends will boys and girls in different grades that all go to my school. I can joke with them, laugh with them, and just be myself around them.

At noon we all met up at the Mandarin. There were ten of us there. We were that obnoxious group of teenagers that everyone hated and I kind of loved that. We ate too much and stayed too long. We gave weird amounts of change and the little Asian woman wanted to murder us. We just had fun.

We left around three and went to Macintosh's house. We needed somewhere to go until six where we were all going to Allie's house. That was already planned because she had to work and couldn't go to the Mandarin. Confused yet? Anyways, at Mac's house we pretty much just played dance video games on his Xbox and Wii singing games. Glee's 'Don't Stop Believing' was a huge hit. So much obnoxious singing, but also some nice songs. Jess and I have an ongoing joke that hers and my characters from the play are secretly lesbian lovers, (too be told in the sequel), so we also pretend to flirt and stuff. Needless to say, we did a duet together.

Then off to Allie's house. At this point there were only seven of us, but we still had a wonderful time. Allie has a pool table, and let me just tell you, I am amazing at pool. I won every game except one, but that's only because my partner was bad. I don't like playing partners. Everyone was like, "Guurrrll, you've got some mad skillz!" and I was like, "You know it homie!" because that is how we talk apparently.

It has been a fun day. Long, but fun. Filled with inappropriate jokes, singing, and pool. Yep.

Jimmy Fallon is on SNL tonight and I am beyond excited. Tina better be on it. They better do amazing sketches. Ahhh, I am so excited! Do not disappoint me Jimmy.

It won't matter

I'm sitting in my room freaking out over this data management test tomorrow because I don't really know what's going on. I can blame my hardcore commitment to Commotion for that one because I haven't really been doing my homework... I regret nothing.

Anyways, here I am freaking out. I cried a little. I lashed out at my mom. I ate ice cream. I talked to my parents about how I am going to fail. They tried to help but failed. What I am getting at is that it doesn't really matter. School and education is such a weird experience. I can't remember learning how to read or write, but I did and I can. I don't remember learning how to add and subtract, bit I did and I kind of can. It's the repetition and growth. It's not one test.

Of course it matters now. My mark will go down. My average will go down. But will doing bad on this one test affect my future? Will it hurt me so bad that I won't be able to do the things I want to do? Of course not. I am going to come out of this test tomorrow disappointed. I know that. I will study and study, but I am not going to do as well as I want. I accept that now.

This is why I am saving my Wonderbar for tomorrow.

Let's talk about my weird chocolate habits because it's legitimately messed. If I get a chocolate bar then I must save it for a 'special occasion'. This goes for chocolate I get for Christmas and other holidays. I usually wait to eat it when a show I enjoy is on or a movie. And I usually am too distracted to watch it fully. I will never learn.

Anyways, wish me luck on this test. I need it. Though, like I said, in the long run it doesn't really matter. But I guess people do say to live in the present. Okay. Everything matters. Fuck. Let me go study forever now.

Seasons greetings from someone hilarious

Because nothing screams the holidays like pretending to roast a marshmallow on your television screen!

I have a thing for thinking of hilarious picture ideas. I just rarely actually do them. I got this idea last year and finally took it.

Happy that it happened

So, I just got home and I really felt the urge to blog while everything is fresh in my mind. Such an amazing day. Both our performances went really well, for me anyways. The crowds were packed. My parents were there! It was weird having them there because I've never done anything like this before. The littlest Nin wouldn't stop complementing me. It was so strange and new and wonderful.

At the end of our last performance it really just hit me that this happened. I came so far in these short 12 weeks. My schools drama teacher came up to me and told me how far I had come. She also said, "Now we just have to get you to join Oliver!" and this time I agreed. Guess what guys. I'm going to be in a musical.

One of the leaders, Colin, pulled me aside and also shared his praise. For my acting, but mostly for my writing which I was very excited to hear. He told me that I should pursue this and that I have talent for it. He also mentioned his famous dad. I don't even know. It was very nice though.

Then the part with the goodbyes. I am so horrible with goodbyes. Of course I started crying. We gave our group leaders Tim Horton's gift cars and cards with all of our names signed because we are super nice like that. I drew a cat face next to my name. I gave them hugs because I am cute like that. One of asked me if I was going to Second City and I said, yes, I was thinking about it. He told me I should. That followed more complements on how amazing I am.

This post is not me bragging about how amazing I am, even thought it may be true, it's about how I would not have known any of this talent if it wasn't for this amazing group. I am so grateful that it came to my school and that it came this year because it if would have come any other year I probably would not have joined. They say that senior year is the best year, and that would not be true if it wasn't for Commotion.

It made me realize that this is what I want to do. I want to write and do improv and act because I love doing it and apparently have some talent towards it. My mom was like, "Do you want to be an actress?" and I said, "I don't know," and she said, "We will see your name in lights." I don't know why, but that just made me smile hearing it from my mom.

I came home and cried, but not for the reasons I thought I would. I was just so happy, but also very sad. I am happy that it happened, but sad that it had to end.

P.S. I just got invited to a real teen drinking party with some of the kids from Commotion, but I didn't go. I just wanted to state, for the record, that I got invited.

Commotion

So I joined this group 12 weeks ago. I thought that I might as well do it because it seemed that it appealed to me. Of course I was worried. Of course I had doubts. I never would have expected it would have turned out like this.

I used to be that quiet girl who didn't talk, watched too much TV, and spent her time writing on this blog. These 12 weeks have helped me grow as a person. I am preforming for audiences and showcasing my talents and getting to know strangers and letting them know me. I have found new passions and explored interests and best of all, found out that I am actually good at them.

I was talking to one of the leader people and he was telling me that he really thought I was doing a good job. He was saying that I was listening to my scene partners and making eye contact and just really engaging in the performance. He asked if I was friends with anyone in my group beforehand. I said not really, just a couple were acquaintances. He said, well, you must have been in a drama class with some of them or something. I told him that I've never taken a drama class in high school. Whenever people hear that they are shocked, which I take as a great complement.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say. I guess that I am extremely grateful that I continued through with this program. I am glad I got to experience this side of myself because even though I have huge dreams, I never thought I actually held talent in the acting department. I am proud of myself that I took all the nerves and stress and turned it into an actual play. I am glad that I made friends, some of which I think will stay. And, lastly, I am devastated that it ends tomorrow.

We have two more shows tomorrow. One at 3pm and one at 7pm. And then what? I will go home and watch SNL and life will resume into the mess it was. My Wednesday's and Thursday's will not be special anymore. My weekends will be blurs.

I need to do something else, but I don't know what and that scares me.

Real life conversations 2

My mother and I were in Shoppers Drug Mart today doing some casual shopping.

A wild stand of Playboy Body Mist appears..

Mom: (Jokingly) Do you want some of this?
Me: Yes I do!

So I pick the sample one up to jokingly take. We are all about jokes. The lid was faulty and a significant amount spilled on my hand.

Me: Oh no! Now I smell like a whore!
Mom: What!? (Laughing sounds) What do you smell like?
Me: A whore.

Then we laughed the night away, even though it was only 4pm.

Busy

I've never been this busy before. It's insane. Getting home past 7pm and having to do homework and watch my shows. How do people do it? I do really enjoy it though.

I'm only able to blog now because I'm skipping school... LOL I'M SO REBELLIOUS.

Happy December 1st though! My December tradition starts today; going on Neopets and getting the advent calendar everyday! I live such an exciting life it's insane.