Hopes up

Isn't it the absolute worst feeling in the world when you get your hopes up for something and your mind is set upon it and you're super excited, but then something changes and everything comes crashing down in front of you? The answer is yes. Yes, it is the worst thing in the world.

This is why I never get my hopes up for anything. This is why I do not allow myself to become excited. This is why I am a pessimist. It's like not taking any risks so you don't get hurt. I can't handle that feeling. That feeling that what you've pictured and went over perfectly in your mind has turned into an ugly memory that never even happened. You just wanted it to so bad it felt real. The memory isn't real, but the pain is.

This is why I am so reluctant to think about the future. I hate thinking about it because then I start to get hopeful. I start to form this map in my mind about how things are going to go and expect everything to just fall into place. There are always cracks in the road though, and those cracks turn into detours, and those detours turn into dead ends. Then where are you? Trapped.

And I know you can't live like that, but somehow I manage. I always pinpoint the absolute worst things that could happen. I never think, "Everything is going to be fine and everything will happen the way it's supposed to and everything will be wonderful," because it doesn't and I'm left even more sad.

This is one of my favourite things about writing. These characters rely on me for their fate. They have no say whether they fall in love or fall in front of a bus. That's all me. Their pieces fall into place eventually. Their lives live on through text and imagination, while the writer is stuck in the real world where they can't just make up some deliberate plot twist to make everything go the right way.

I have to constantly remind myself that I do not live in a novel or a show. I am not someones character. No one is writing my future. No one is staying up late turning the pages of my life and wondering how it will turn out. It's not as fun writing your own story because if you have an idea of how it will end, your life will just be full of disappointment. I'm not ready for this.

The other side of Pokémon

So, we all know fun loving Pokémon. The children go out and get their first Pokémon when they are 10, and then they can journey off to catch more, or stay home, and what? What kind of education is there is this Pokémon filled world? You're leaving your house when you're 10 to fight and travel and find strangers to tag along. When you're only 10 you start this nomadic life.

Okay, so let's say I'm 10. I am going to go out and get a nice little Pokémon. I'm not going to go become a trainer. I'm not going to 'collect them all'. I'm not even truly interested in Pokémon, because Pokémon are like animals in our society. Sure, there are a lot of jobs you can do involving animals, but majority of people don't choose to do them.

Do you even need to go get a starter Pokémon? It would be way more responsibly then looking after a dog; it shoots fucking elements out of itself! I wonder how many children die from third degree burns in this Pokémon realm.

Every season of Pokémon there are more and more different types of Pokémon appearing. Where the hell are they coming from? Are they being genetically made in labs or are they being discovered somehow? How many people use Pokémon for evil? Sure, they have bad guys on the show, but all they do is try and steal pikachu. I'm sure there are some people that would use them to kill and steal.

So they mix these dangerous animals with children. Seems legit. These children who can just leave their homes at 10. What do their parents think? I'm sure their are mixed views. There will be the parents who, themselves, went out when they were 10, then there are the ones who continued school and became something that didn't have to do with Pokémon.

I guess these kids kind of have to decide what they are doing for the rest of their lives at the mere age of 10. That is impossible. If I have to decide my life at the age of 10, I would be... a fucking witch doctor, I have no idea. Hell, I don't know what I'm doing with my life now.

I know I am looking way too far into this, but does anyone ever discuss this? The show only follows Ash, who, as we know, wants to be a Pokémon master, so what about everyone else?

A world full of Pokémon would be awesome, but very dangerous and backwards. It's so much different then what you would expect a normal childhood to be, but that's probably the westerner in me speaking because in some cultures childhood as I know it doesn't exist it at all. Maybe they would find it completely normal to go off when you're 10.

Nevertheless, I still love Pokémon, even though it makes me question everything.