1: When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last?
Strawberry!
2: Would you rather be caught in a thunderstorm without an umbrella or a snowstorm without boots?
Snowstorm, as long as some sort of footwear is available
3: Let's say you have access to a time machine, but it can only go either backward or forward. One or the other. Which do you choose and where do you go?
Honestly, I'd probably go back to grade 8 and get my shit together before high school knowing what I know now.
4: If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick?
The power of seduction
5: Tomorrow morning, you wake up in the body of a celebrity, like in a '90s body-swap movie. Who is it? How do they react to your life? What do you do when you're "them"? Would you choose to switch back?
Tina Fey. She is scared to death to be me. I do amazing things, like go to work and call Amy Poehler. Yes, I would because then I could talk to her about the weird thing that happened, forever forming a friendship like sisterhood.
6: Any allergies?
Only to your mom's perfume.
7: What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers?
Adult diapers, because it's not like there's a specific store dedicated to adult diapers.
8: Did you get enough sleep last night?
Ha, no.
9: You're the sole witness to a Mafia murder. Witness protection has to set you up with a whole new life in a totally new country. You have to leave everything behind, but you can pick where you move to. Where do you go?
Ah, I don't know! I want to say like Grease or Australia, but realistically, probably NYC bitches.
10: If you could star in a biopic about any famous person ever, who would it be?
Tina. Fey.
11: What's the biggest animal you've ever killed? Bugs count.
Mountain lion with my bare hands.
12: Would you rather have millions of dollars but always feel nauseous when you go outside, or be dirt poor forever but never get sick again in your life?
Rich. Who needs the outdoors?
13: A wizard offers you immortality in exchange for your two front teeth. Do you take it?
Yes I would.
14: Could you win the Hunger Games?
I wouldn't want to win.
15: What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid? How about as a teen/adult?
Barbie as a child. Barbie as an adult.
16: Do you bite your nails?
Nope
17: What was the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
I remember going to go see Pokemon very clearly.
18: Do you prefer music with male or female vocalists?
Usually male
19: You and the love of your life are having a baby, and you get to choose the name! There's only one catch: your partner INSISTS that it be the name of a place, real or fictional. What do you name your baby?
Pawnee
20: If you could reboot or remake any movie, what would it be and who would you cast?
Charlie's Angels. Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Maya Roudolf would play the girls. Lorne Michaels would be Charlie. Jimmy Fallon would be Bosley.
21: If you could automatically know how to speak any language or play any instrument, which would you choose?
I would choose to know how to flawlessly play guitar, or piano.
22: For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing?
Probably
23: If you curse loudly and then realize that there are children nearby, what is your reaction?
"Oh fuck, sorry."
24: Of what animal are you most afraid?
Velociraptor
25: Pizza or oral sex?
Oral sex from someone who just ate pizza. (I'm only half joking)
26: Without looking them up, can you explain the rules of football? How about Quidditch? What do you think that says about you?
Not really. Like, in someways. I think Quidditch more than the technical aspects of football, unless by football we mean soccer.
27: You're in the car, switching channels on the radio when you hear a song that makes you go "OH SHIT, THAT'S MY JAM!" What song is it?
Hold On by Wilson Philips
28: Have you ever paid to see a Step Up movie? If not, how much would someone have to pay YOU to see a Step Up movie?
I saw the first one in theaters... twice.
29: If you were being executed tonight, what would you choose for your last meal?
Chicken fingers and smile fries.
30: Have you ever bought an item of clothing because it reminded you of something a fictional character would wear?
Ahahaha, yes. I don't even regret it.
31: If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
Stalk a whole lot of people
32: Have you ever been punched in the face?
No, and this saddens me. Someone punch me in the face!
33: How do you take your ramen noodles?
Cooked
34: Do you ever rehearse or plan conversations before you actually have them?
Almost always
35: How much black do you wear on a regular basis (not counting funerals)?
Because funerals are a regular basis. Not that much usually.
36: Do you have any tattoos? Do you want any?
No, and yes
37: If someone offered you a free pet snake, would you take it? It's not dangerous or really big or anything. They're just moving to a place that doesn't allow pets.
If I lived alone, sure
38: Do you know how to pronounce the word "pinochle"?
I do after I asked Google
39: Can you think of anything more boring than birdwatching?
Being outside and there being no birds
40: Are you better with numbers or words?
Words, as in writing down words
41: At the movies, do you stay for the credits?
No
42: Is morality universal or relative?
Universal
43: Let's say you're getting married to someone you absolutely adore. The only catch is that you met them through a Craigslist hookup ad that was supposed to be just for one night of casual sex. Would you tell your friends how you and your fiance met?
Yes, and it would be awesome and everyone would support me. (No.) (I'd probably make a joke about it at the wedding.)
44: What's the worst name you've ever been called?
Oprah Winfrey
45: Would you eat human flesh if it had been harvested and prepared humanely? (Say, from someone brain-dead who had marked him or herself down as an organ donor - same difference, right?)
Of course, without a second thought. Let's dig in.
46: At what age did you stop believing in Santa? Alternately, if you never believed in Santa, did you ever ruin Santa for anyone else?
I don't remember. Grade 6 was complete ending point for me. I don't know what the thought process was before, it's not like I was that convinced.
47: Do you get along better with old people or little kids?
Oldies are my homies
48: If you had to choose, would you rather become a nun/monk or a drug dealer?
Drug dealer
49: What's your best bodily feature, objectively speaking?
My booty.
50: Who is your favorite late night talk show host?
Jimmy Fallon!
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