Anyways, here I am freaking out. I cried a little. I lashed out at my mom. I ate ice cream. I talked to my parents about how I am going to fail. They tried to help but failed. What I am getting at is that it doesn't really matter. School and education is such a weird experience. I can't remember learning how to read or write, but I did and I can. I don't remember learning how to add and subtract, bit I did and I kind of can. It's the repetition and growth. It's not one test.
Of course it matters now. My mark will go down. My average will go down. But will doing bad on this one test affect my future? Will it hurt me so bad that I won't be able to do the things I want to do? Of course not. I am going to come out of this test tomorrow disappointed. I know that. I will study and study, but I am not going to do as well as I want. I accept that now.
This is why I am saving my Wonderbar for tomorrow.
Let's talk about my weird chocolate habits because it's legitimately messed. If I get a chocolate bar then I must save it for a 'special occasion'. This goes for chocolate I get for Christmas and other holidays. I usually wait to eat it when a show I enjoy is on or a movie. And I usually am too distracted to watch it fully. I will never learn.
Anyways, wish me luck on this test. I need it. Though, like I said, in the long run it doesn't really matter. But I guess people do say to live in the present. Okay. Everything matters. Fuck. Let me go study forever now.
So long as you get that little piece of paper at the end of your studies that says you are competent (i.e. degree) you are fine. Don't dwell on individual scores or hardships, as there are too many in life. If everything you do or attempt carries the weight of the world, you will burn out faster than a match. Just remember to try your best, ad retain as much knowledge for the next level of your education, and you will be fine. No one can expect to do better than they are capable, and no one can expect that of you.
ReplyDeleteYour only focus should be the avoiding of unemployment through higher learning. If you don't like the idea of being homeless or working at a fast food restaurant for the rest of your life (not a joke, there are people in those shoes all around the world) you will try your best.
Randomly found your blog on google looking for a Lonely Island song, lol. Figured I would impart some advice as a college grad facing the real world. I originally dropped out of college, and had a hard time finding a job. After losing yet another position in a crappy company, I ended up homeless for a couple months. I swallowed my pride, asked family for help, and couched surfed with relatives until fall semester started back up. Finished college, and now get paid to tell people how to make their business more profitable for $200 an hour, with travel expenses paid to and from their business. Last year I cleared $175,000. It is worth it to focus in school, and get the best out of it.
Hope I didn't waste too much of your time, or mine, in writing this. Take a bit of it to heart, and try your best!!
Enjoy your chocolate!
-Well wisher