Friday, May 13, 2011

Hearts & Dog-Tags 4

Shitty mood, shitty night, so let's sit down and write, write, write! (I'm sorry you had to read that.) (I'm also going to apologize in advance if this doesn't make sense; I'm really tired.) (I used a semi-colon to avoid a comma-splice error. Thank you English class.) (These brackets are me whispering secrets to you.)
I know there wasn't a cover yesterday. I did record one but Blogger was dead and since it's not Thursday I'm not going to put it on. I know you are all probably crying. Bitches be crazy.
Oh, fun fact: I figured out how the title is going to relate to the story. I've got the last chapter all figured out. Now I actually have to get there. When I write these, I try not to think about them ahead of time. I just gather inspiration and then write. Today's 'chapter' brought to you by the rain because it was raining outside today.




    "Where on earth have you been!? It's pouring outside and the cables out and you know I always assume the worst. You better have a good explanation."
    "Relax Sammy. I have an awesome story to share. Wait, so the cables still out?"
    "Yeah."
    "Damn... I guess we have all the time in the world then. See, it all started when I was watching this football game..."
    "Paul, who was even playing? You don't even know how football works, yet you watch every game on TV!  Why?"
    "Shh, don't interrupt me. So, as I was saying, I was watching this football game. The score was tied to like 45-34 or something logical for a football game. Just your average score."
    "See! Do you even know what a touchdown is worth?"
    "Easy! It all depends on what colour hair the dude has and something. This isn't important! I told you not to interrupt!"
    "Okay, sorry, what happened?"
    "The football game was really close and the one guy was running down the field! He was just about to do something awesome I bet! But then the cable went out. I didn't know what to do. I sat there just staring at the static screen and listening to that horrible sound it makes. That's when it hit me. Literally, a rain drop fell on my head. That was the first clue to me that it was raining outside and also the first clue to the fact that our roof was leaking."
    "Wait! Our roof is leaking!?"
    "Sammy, I didn't want it to come to this, but shut your trap and listen. I said was, the roof was leaking. I, Paul Samuel Jackson fixed our roof."
    "Paul, that isn't even your last or middle name."
    "Sammy... That was a test to see if you'd interrupt again! I'm done telling this story!"

    And then it hit Sammy. Literally, a rain drop fell on her head.

    "Paul! A rain drop just hit me! I thought you said you fixed the roof!"
    "Crap! The bucket must have moved..."
    "Wait, what? How did you 'fix' the roof?"
    "Simple logic little Sammy. See, when most people have a leak they put a bucket underneath to catch the water. But I wanted to fix it from the outside. So I climbed up on the roof... Oh, by the way, I may have killed all your vines trying to climb up the wall holding on to them. Turns out they aren't as strong as you would think. Anyways, I got up on the roof and I put a bucket, face-down, over the estimated leak point. Fixing it from the outside." Paul held up his hand for a high-five.
    "So, let me get this straight. You climbed up on the roof in the pouring rain, killed my plants, and placed a metal bucket on the roof while it is lightning and now you want me to give you a high-five?"
    "I'm sorry about your plants, that wasn't part of the plan."
    "Wait, so where were you when I got home?"
    "See, I was stuck on the roof but I didn't want to yell for you because I didn't want to scare you. See Sammy, I'm always thinking about you."
    "How did you manage to get down?"
    "I jumped onto a soft landing. Your fern bushes..."

    The next day when it stopped raining, Sammy went to the hardware store and bought everything needed to re-shingle a roof. When she got home she climbed up on the roof, noting the plant damage, and got to work. It took her all week to do it by herself between work. But she did it.
    Paul was there to give her lemonade and a couple odd snacks. He was also there to jokingly take the ladder away when Sammy had to pee. He offered his help but Sammy said this was her project.
    Paul learned two thing that day. One, he will never do any better then Sammy. And two, never put a metal bucket on your roof when it's raining.

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Mmmbop.


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